Biggest Tool: Baseball PlayerDoug Glanville's saving roll against Todd Pratt

Ara's naming Jason Phillips the biggest tool in baseball was the opening salvo in the new Biggest Tools series here at The Tools of Ignorance. My rebuttal comes in the form of a competition between two noble Paladin warriors and denizers of the Ultima Universe. That's right: Todd Pratt and Doug Glanville are gamers. As in roll playing gamers.




Todd Pratt

In this mlb.com interview, Todd Pratt discusses Ian Stormbringer. From the interview:

Ian Stormbringer is my role-playing name that I created many years ago. I have been interested in role-playing since the '70s. I created the name as my first character in a game called Ultima Online. He's the same age as myself (35), same height (6-foot-3). He's human, but can change within the worlds he visits and is a cross-breed if needed. He is a Knight of the Church. Some may call him a Paladin (ultra-good fighter).

Doug Glanville

In this Jayson Stark article, Glanville explains that hit hit two home runs off Curt Schilling when Schilling negligently let Glanville's dwarven paladin Bingbong die while playing Everquest. If that wasn't toolsy enough, Glanville's bio on the University of Pennsylvania website discusses his academic prowess and his degree in Systems Engineering. When the Atlanta Braves built their new stadium, Glanville consulted on the parking lot and transportation design. That's actually not toolsy at all, but rather awesome. So, because Glanville is an uber-nerd and Pratt is merely a tool, Glanville's first level saving roll of 17 d20 on his Charisma (20-CHR) allows him to escape this debate unscathed.